


Stitches

by nayus



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, Explicit Language, Lowercase, M/M, Tears, Unrequited Love, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:42:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24493681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nayus/pseuds/nayus
Summary: “donghyuck this is going to be an hell of a ride, i’m so fucking sorry. i tried i really did, i swear. this just… i don’t know, things changed.-"
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Stitches

he was looking out of the window when someone sneaked up on him. he felt his cheek being kissed, a quick yet soft kiss. he knew it was donghyuck right away. that was his way of greeting him.  
they were boyfriends, they had been together for quite a while, at least five months by now. no one knew. no one except donghyuck and renjun. it was their little secret. something they had hidden for so long they would have probably felt uncomfortable to share.   
renjun wasn’t looking at donghyuck, but donghyuck was sure as hell looking at him. he could feel his gaze burning his side profile. he felt uncomfortable, when they first started dating donghyuck’s staring wasn’t a problem, he actually liked it. he finally mattered to someone, he could feel the love dripping from the other boy’s eyes.   
he still could, and he was still flattered by the boy’s affection towards him, it just made him feel weird.   
his body didn’t feel his for a second.  
he stood up, not looking at donghyuck, not saying a word.  
he just stood up and left.  
he left behind him a confused donghyuck wondering what he had done wrong.  
he felt as if there were insects on his skin. he couldn’t stand to be that close to donghyuck, he just couldn’t anymore, at least not in the way the other boy wanted him to be.  
a shiver on his back.  
someone calling his name. that’s donghyuck, he thought.   
another shiver.  
donghyuck called his name again.  
he was probably shaking by now.  
he turned around, facing his boyfriend. he caught a glimpse of the hurt in his eyes.  
he couldn’t  
i’m sorry.   
that’s the only thing renjun could think at the time.  
i’m sorry.  
the next day renjun tried his best to ignore his boyfriend. all of donghyuck’s attempts at getting renjun’s attention were useless. the boy wouldn’t even spare a glance at him, or his general direction.  
he felt hurt. is he not enough for him? is that why his boyfriend was ignoring him? did he want to break things off? maybe renjun was going through a rough period. no scratch that, he was laughing wholeheartedly with jaemin at lunch.  
donghyuck kept defending renjun in his own head. he started to go through his memories with the other boy again, all his happy and treasured memories.

their first encounter. he remember vividly renjun talking about something in chinese to another boy. it wasn’t love at fist sight or anything really. he saw the other boy in the halls, he just thought he was really pretty, and his voice reassembled what he thought an angel would sound like. renjun turned to him, smiling, the most blinding smile he had ever seen, the small boy waved his hand at donghyuck saying with confidence, pride and with his broken korean: “hi, i’m renjun, nice to meet you!”

donghyuck introduced renjun to his friends jaemin and jisung. the small boy and the latter got along well. their pure friendship never failed to make onghyuck’s heart swell.

renjun liked art.  
he loved painting.  
he invited donghyuck to his house, he wanted to show him something.  
that something was a white canvas.  
“i want to fill it up with your beauty.”  
this is when donghyuck realised he was already in too deep.   
renjun loved painting, and donghyuck liked the artsy boy standing in front of him, smiling brightly.

why renjun asked him to hang out alone even after the portrait was done was a mystery to him he felt his heart flutter when the small boy said: “i just want to spend some time with you, alone.”  
nothing too special. they stumbled around the city, wandering though the shops, occasionally holding hands.   
donghyuck felt giddy. he was happy, he felt so safe with renjun it almost scared him. donghyuck ruffled the small boy’s hair.   
“i really like you injun.”  
he wasn’t thinking, and if he was, than damn that was a brave move.  
renjun didn’t reply at first, but his eyes had stars in them and his mouth started to curl up in a sweet smile.   
“i like you too lee donghyuck.”

boyfriends. he liked the sound of that. renjun said it first. they were playing mario kart and he yelled so casually. “the fucking betrayal! you’re my boyfriend you should at least let me win a race.”  
donghyuck probably had a shocked face.  
renjun looked at him awkwardly: “w-what?”  
okay first off, he stuttered, which was really cute, donghyuck decided. second off: “you called me your boyfriend.”  
“yea i did, well aren’t you? we confessed, right? that wasn’t a dream.”  
donghyuck was still taken aback. his heart was fluttering and he had this really weird feeling, like a feeling of nothingness in his stomach, everyone would just call it ‘butterflies’ though.  
“i’m your... boyfriend.”

their first kiss was awful.  
they awkwardly leaned in. donghyuck was the one to close the gap between them. unfortunately it wasn’t their lips that touched but their teeth. that made an awful sound making both of them jump scared shitless for their teeth.  
they tried again, this time their lips touched, donghyuck felt at ease. he melted into the kiss and into renjun’s hands (awkwardly placed on his cheeks). their first kiss was awful but donghyuck loved it.

they had been dating for a few months now.  
they were cuddling on donghyuck’s bed.  
donghyuck really wanted a kiss.  
he leaned in but renjun smiled and turned around.   
donghyuck was confused but he let it slide.

donghyuck loved watching his boyfriend paint, he was so talented. when he finished a picture his eyes lit up like little stars. donghyuck loved that side of renjun.  
he went to cup his cheeks, silently asking for permission. renjun slightly nodded. donghyuck grinned.  
he kissed his boyfriend, slowly, with care, he wanted to treasure him, he wanted renjun to know how much he cared for him.  
renjun awkwardly pulled away smiling, little did donghyuck know, renjun was on the verge of tears.

donghyuck was pulled away from his thoughts by jaemin. he had been talking to him for ten minutes apparently.   
“hyuckie are you okay?”   
donghyuck smiled and dismissed jaemin by leaving a kiss on his cheek and standing up.   
the walk to the bathroom had never been so long, donghyuck had never felt his heart so heavy.   
his eyes were filled with tears, everything was blurry.   
a tall figure was trying to approach him. donghyuck lowered his head, finally feeling the tears streaming down his face. the tall figure was close enough to see the other boy crying.   
he rushed to him and hugged him, letting donghyuck rest his head on his chest.  
donghyuck recognised the tall figure. it was jisung, he always smelled like homemade biscuits and vanilla.  
he let himself melt into the younger’s hug. he was crying even harder now.   
“hyuckie is everything alright?”  
donghyuck chuckled sternly: “yea jisung everything is alright, can’t you see?”  
“i’m sorry... i’m probably the last person you wanted to see right now. but i’m here and i’m planning on making you feel better whether you like it or not.”  
those words hit donghyuck so hard, he didn’t know it was possible for him to cry even harder, but oh how he did.   
once he calmed down he decided to talk to jisung. he didn’t want it to be a secret anymore (not after he saw him bawling his eyes out, he’s pretty sure he even said renjun’s name a couple of times).  
“sungie can i talk to you? but you can’t tell anyone, not even jaemin okay?”  
the younger boy nodded eagerly, he really wanted to make the older boy feel better and knowing what made him feel so miserable maybe would help.  
so donghyuck explained everything to jisung, how renjun and him got together, how the older was now avoiding him, everything. jisung was not going to lie, he felt hurt. how could they keep something so big for themselves. then again thinking about it maybe it worked for them. maybe they didn’t want to answer weird questions, or maybe they just liked keeping the fact that they were in a relationship from their friends because one of them felt uncomfortable to share it.   
jisung liked to think he was strong, but not when it came to his friends. the younger boy cried along with donghyuck, both because the new information was a lot to take in, and because he felt so sorry for donghyuck.   
what was happening was so obvious, probably the older boy just didn’t want to see it.  
“hyuckie, it’s probably not my place to tell, i think you should talk to him.”  
donghyuck was confused to say the least.  
“what do you mean? he’s ignoring me remember?”  
jisung shook his head.   
“he’s probably really scared right now, hyuckie. i don’t know corner him and make him tell you what’s been on his mind, but you need to talk to him i don’t want to keep seeing you this hurt.”

renjun didn’t know what to do. he knew he needed to do something, but he didn’t want donghyuck to hurt even more.   
he skipped his classes, he stayed inside a bathroom stall for hours contemplating what he could do. at one point he even considered going back to china without giving donghyuck any type of closure. but he couldn’t do that, and he knew.   
the bathroom door was slammed against the wall and he heard jaemin mumble under his breath: “why the fuck was hyuckie about to cry, what the fuck.”  
it didn’t even take a second before tears started coming out of his eyes. everything hurt so much. he made donghyuck cry he couldn’t stand it. he let out a sob. he knew jaemin would check up on a person crying in the bathroom.   
just as renjun predicted the boy knocked on his stall.  
“are you okay in there?”  
renjun let out another sob, he tried to say jaemin’s name, but nothing came out at first.   
after a few more sobs a soft and broken “nana” could be heard.   
it didn’t take anything else for jaemin to know it was renjun, only him called him that. the sight right before him broke his heart. renjun was crying his eyes out sobbing in his hands. the younger went to hug him but renjun let himself fall onto the bathroom floor.   
jaemin kneeled down in front of him.   
“injun what happened.”  
the older boy couldn’t find it in him yo just ignore his question. in other circumstances he probabòy would’ve though.   
“nana promise me not to yell or get mad at me or hyuckie.”  
“what, why?”  
“nana just promise.”  
he was confused but he nodded nevertheless, he really wanted to know what was happening.  
so renjun explained everything, how they got together in the first place (jaemin looked hurt, he was pouting), the older boy told him every doubt he had, the fact that kissing him was becoming more and more an obligation, something he had to do in order to please donghyuck, he told him how he felt the day before, and how hurt dognhyuck looked, so that’s probably why he was crying.  
“fucking… jesus christ renjun. you really should tell him. fuck. break up with him, you can’t keep doing this. for how long?”  
renjun felt so small: “three months.”  
jaemin stood up.   
“renjun let me get this fucking straight, you’ve known you don’t like hyuckie that way for three fucking months, and it never fucking occurred to you to tell him?”   
a tear left renjun’s eye. he couldn’t believe it either. three months. he’s been lying to donghyuck for three fucking months.   
“shit.”  
“yeah, shit indeed, asshole. talk to him.”

it was a great day really. donghyuck’s mom woke him up by giving him a kiss on the forehead, saying that she made pancakes for breakfast. the boy knew his mom felt how sad he was.  
a had week passed since renjun walked away from donghyuck.   
he felt miserable.   
maybe the pancakes would cheer him a up a little. that’s what he thought at the time but he could have never been so wrong.   
donghyuck was already eating his food talking animatedly with his mom about god knows what, but they both were so lost in their conversation they almost missed the sound of the doorbell.   
“who could this be?”   
she was a little confused, who would come unannounced on a sunday morning?  
she didn’t question more when she saw her son’s friend at the door. maybe they had plans donghyuck forgot to tell her about.  
“honey, your friend’s here!” 

“renjun what the fuck are you doing here?”  
they were on donghyuck’s bed sitting and facing each other.  
“i realised i really have to tell you something.”  
donghyuck would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a rush of anxiety wash over him. his hands were already shaking, the feeling of nothingness in his stomach (not really pleasant).  
“please do share if that’s the case.”  
renjun cleared his throat.  
“i’m sorry.”  
donghyuck couldn’t stop his tears.  
“i probably already know where this is going.”  
renjun wasn’t trying to hide his tears, he then started speaking.  
he told donghyuck everything he had in mind for the past three months.  
“donghyuck this is going to be an hell of a ride, i’m so fucking sorry. i tried i really did, i swear. this just… i don’t know, things changed.-  
in these past few months i’ve been thinking a lot, about all of this, our relationship i mean. donghyuck do you remember when you fist told me you liked me?”  
they both smiled through the tears, it was a nostalgic smile.  
“i’ll take that as a yes. i really liked you back then, i’ve liked you since i saw you in the halls talking to jaemin. i thought you were the prettiest boy i had ever seen. and holy shit it felt good to hear you say those words. i’ve never felt that way towards anyone.   
fuck… how do i say this… at the time i really did like you, but as time went by my feelings just, weren’t there anymore. i didn’t know what to do or how to act. all i kept thinking was: should i tell him? should we talk about this? i really didn’t know. i’m so clueless, this is my fist relationship and i’m sorry it turned out the way it did. me hurting you, i really hate myself for that. i’m sorry if i couldn’t give you my whole. i hope you find someone who could because holy shit you deserve it. you deserve the world donghyuck, probably just… not from me. i’m sorry. i just can’t anymore, i tried, i thought i could get myself to like you again, but it didn’t work. and i feel terrible. i just did everything i promised myself not to do. like fuck hyuckie, i hurt you, i hurt so much and i’m so sorry. i don’t want to lose you, and i understand if you need time, and you don’t want to see me. but i don’t want to lose my best friend over this. i’m not expecting you to agree, and say that you’ll be my friend, i just want you to be happy, i hope you know that.”

donghyuck was speechless, his cheeks were full of tears he was gawking at him. his mouth was somewhat open, and his heart broke into a million pieces.  
“for how long, have you known?”  
renjun whispered with a broken voice: “three months.”  
donghyuck scoffed.  
“of fucking course you’ve known for this long, this is why you refused my kissed, this is why you looked so hurt every time I said something about our relationship. hasn’t it fucking occurred you to tell me? we could’ve broken up then, and i wouldn’t have been so fucking hurt renjun, because news flash i fucking love you. there i said it. i love you, and you don’t and it’s fine really, i just wished you would’ve told me sooner.”

tears were spilling out of both boys’ eyes, renjun didn’t say a word after what donghyuck said. he didn’t want to hurt him even more.  
“now please get the fuck out.”  
renjun obliged.   
he got up and walked to the door.  
“goodbye donghyuck i love you, you’re my best friend, please always remember this.”

renjun felt as if some type of weight had been lifted from his shoulders, but at what cost. he just lost his best friend, he loved him, he really did, just in another way.  
donghyuck felt as if his heart had been taken out of his chest and someone played basketball with it. he was so hurt, it hurt so much. his tears didn’t stop anytime soon, and with his heart heavy and his cheeks full of stained tears he fell asleep, he made a promise to himself, not to think of the brown haired boy he loved, oh so much, ever again.


End file.
